#9. Reaganomics

Every fairly recent president is associated with some term. Richard Nixon is associated with “Watergate;” Gerald Ford and “stagflation” are one and the same; Jimmy Carter can't be said without someone thinking “pathetic failure.” But Ronald Reagan? Gee golly, he wins this battle thanks to Reaganomics.

For those who idolized Reagan so much that they too got alzheimers and don't remember who Ronald Reagan was, Reagan was that old dude actor-turned-politician who thought all the worlds problems could be solved by bashing minorities and cutting taxes. Sound familiar California?

I was too lazy to find relevant pictures and make relevant graphs, so I just did a google image search for "funny pictures." Take that, bing.com.

Reaganomics, of course, was Reagan's economic policy. Put simply, Reagan believed he could fix the economy by taking money we don't have and giving it back to the people who just gave it to us, kind of like what Double-U did, except it worked, sort-of.

At the same time, Reagan also began spending more money. We built Star Wars and Star Trek and Star Bursts. We said we were going to tear down some wall. Oh, we also raised money by selling weapons to Iran, but since Reagan did it, no one cared.

Iranian National Guard

Anyway, back on track.

According to wikipedia, which was the first to transcribe Reaganomics, Reaganomics started by Reagan's elimination of price controls on oil. Next, he closed loopholes in the tax codes, as evidenced by the uncited third paragraph on the Reaganomics article.

Then the article goes into a bunch of numbers, and I stopped caring.

But no matter how you look at it, Reaganomics is dead. While “George” Double-U Bush tried to revive it, Barack Obama has put it out of its misery.

What Obama has done to Reaganomics

Now, instead of cutting taxes to the rich and giving money to the rich, we're giving money to the poor, complete blasphomy. Why should we be giving poor people a couple grand to buy an American car when they can go buy a used Mazda that was once owned by a lower-middle class white dude who now drives a Mercedes Benz?

I know, right?

And worst of all, we're helping the poorest of the poor with billions of dollars in aid. That's right, we're aiding the auto makers themselves.

lolcats

No, if Reaganomics were still alive, we'd be telling the poor people to go fuck themselves, the gay people to go fuck each other to get AIDS and therefore leave the planet, and all the women to go get fucked by their husbands so as to produce good Republican babies.

And trust me, that ain't happening.

Our economy is in the dumps and we still have the debt that was formed via Reaganomics, but we're helping the poor. It's wrong, but it's also proof that Reaganomics is dead.

I feel like I'm forgetting something.

Oh, that's right, Canada sucks.